Monday, December 27, 2010
Great 'zard of '10.
Out in this winter dream.
He braved a foot of snow
Just to buy ice cream.
I have to take a break,
If planes might start to fly.
I have to go get warm,
Until next week, bye-bye.
Happy New Year!
Sunday, December 26, 2010
How to survive a blizzard.
It knocks the thoughts out of my head.
I will stay inside and
Buy beach clothes online instead.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Special Guest Author.
The temperature fell like a brick,
Turned water to ice extra quick,
I started to shiver,
Then down the East River
Walked reindeer with sleigh and St. Nick!
Friday, December 24, 2010
Christmas Eve
And all through the land
All the kids hope that Santa
Gets past the doorman
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Ode to Devil Dogs.
disks of pleasure.
Or Whoopie Pies;
always named
for something
we cannot admit
we desire.
Oh sweet stickiness,
Oh crumb,
Oh sin.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
2012
The Mayan due date coming near.
With a thought of this disaster,
Maybe I'll start writing faster.
That said, I hope we have some fun,
Before we explode from the sun.
So,
Into another drink we delve;
We've only got 'till twenty-twelve.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Happy Solstice-Eclipse!
If you want to see this one, get up at 3:15.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Yule Blog: Dyker Heights.
there's some on every inch.
Penguins, spongebob, mickey mouse;
I even saw a grinch.
If you love the holidays,
And want to decorate,
There are many many things,
The cheerful can inflate.
Up and down the hilly blocks
The night shines green and red.
And the happiest ones of all
Are probably ConEd.
Maybe all this twinkling is
A way to just compete
With Josh and Heidi Hansen,
Who live just down the street.
But.
We spend all day ignoring
The strangers that may be;
But we put up all this joy
for all those folks to see.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Charitable Donations Limerick.
Like Santa I packed up my sleigh.
I like to do good,
Not sure if I would,
If at tax time it just didn't pay.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Yule Blog: Candy Canes
My conscience made me take a look.
A candy cane has 40 cal.;
That's less than a cookie.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Out of Transit: Eavesdropping on Subway Musicians
Range of good guitars.
One guy has a whole piano,
One just plays sitar.
Two men got on at 34th,
going north to play.
Another one at 42,
63rd today.
I learned that daylight isn't safe,
Making players fear,
But after 5 or 6 or so,
Cops like what they hear.
So if you play a kettle drum,
Cello or trombone,
Be sure to pick a midnight shift;
They'll leave you alone.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Yule Blog: 12 Days of Christmas
On the first day of Christmas,
New York gave to me
The Statue of Liberty.
On the second day of Christmas,
New York gave to me
Two Christmas trees,
and the Statue of Liberty.
On the third day of Christmas,
New York gave to me
Three knock-offs,
Two Christmas trees,
and the Statue of Liberty.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
New York gave to me
Four chocolate coins,
Three knock-offs,
Two Christmas trees,
and the Statue of Liberty.
On the fifth day of Christmas,
New York gave to me
Five sample sales,
Four chocolate coins,
Three knock-offs,
Two Christmas trees,
and the Statue of Liberty.
On the sixth day of Christmas,
New York gave to me
Six panettones,
Five sample sales,
Four chocolate coins,
Three knock-offs,
Two Christmas trees,
and the Statue of Liberty.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
New York gave to me
Seven eggnog lattes,
Six panettones,
Five sample sales,
Four chocolate coins,
Three knock-offs,
Two Christmas trees,
and the Statue of Liberty.
On the eighth day of Christmas,
New York gave to me
Eight funny bloggers,
Seven eggnog lattes,
Six panettones,
Five sample sales,
Four chocolate coins,
Three knock-offs,
Two Christmas trees,
and the Statue of Liberty.
On the ninth day of Christmas,
New York gave to me
Nine drunken Santas,
Eight funny bloggers,
Seven eggnog lattes,
Six panettones,
Five sample sales,
Four chocolate coins,
Three knock-offs,
Two Christmas trees,
and the Statue of Liberty.
On the tenth day of Christmas,
New York gave to me
Ten freezing hipsters,
Nine drunken Santas,
Eight funny bloggers,
Seven eggnog lattes,
Six panettones,
Five sample sales,
Four chocolate coins,
Three knock-offs,
Two Christmas trees,
and the Statue of Liberty.
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
New York gave to me
Eleven huge menorahs,
Ten freezing hipsters,
Nine drunken Santas,
Eight funny bloggers,
Seven eggnog lattes,
Six panettones,
Five sample sales,
Four chocolate coins,
Three knock-offs,
Two Christmas trees,
and the Statue of Liberty.
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
New York gave to me
Free alt-side parking,
Eleven huge menorahs,
Ten freezing hipsters,
Nine drunken Santas,
Eight funny bloggers,
Seven eggnog lattes,
Six panettones,
Five sample sales,
Four chocolate coins,
Three knock-offs,
Two Christmas trees,
and the Statue of Liberty.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
S'mores at 3 a.m.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Bernie Madoff.
Friday, December 10, 2010
My hat.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
More Blog on Nog.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Naughty or Nice?
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Nog.
Monday, December 6, 2010
It begins.
12/1/10
Welcome to my valiant project
A poem a day for a year or so
Likely some will be totally rejects
But wtf, why not? Time’s ticking you know…
I’m not sure what the topics will be,
Probably mostly just everyday stuff
Like bank accounts, salads, CDOs, novels,
DVRs, ipads and Marshmallow fluff,
The world of today as I see it each day
The things I think about
An unbiased voice cause I’m not getting paid
Though if you were my sponsor I’d give you a shout!
12/2/10
Book Club
I have to pick the book next time
And I really hope they all like mine
But I haven’t finished this month’s yet
So I guess I’ll just drink wine
12/3/10
Music Together I
There aren’t too many mommies here
In Music Together class.
I look stupid with the Caribbean nannies
Who can really shake their ass.
12/4/10
The Forecast
I’m not complaining about the cold anymore,
Which I do at this time every year.
I spent my day helping Haitian women
Who are fighting so hard to live here.
12/5/10
Yule Blog: Christmas in New York
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree,
We bought you on the sidewalk.
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree,
We carried you for five blocks.
Your piney smell’s a real treat;
In 700 sq. ft.
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree,
We hope your trunk has no knots.
O Christmas Tree, Organic Christmas Tree,
We picked you for your straight top.
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree,
We love that you are pine--Scotch.
Your needles fall along the floor,
A little path to our door.
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree,
Good thing we aren’t a walk-up.
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree,
You’re kind of small for Brooklyn Heights.
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree,
But you look so nice in rainbow lights!
Your star aglow for all to see;
As they drive down the BQE.
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree,
You’re perfect for our Christmas night!
12/6/10
Old-school Yule
Happy name day to my dad,
Who is named for old Saint Nick.
If I had to choose a dad and Santa,
He’s the one I’d pick.