Saturday, February 23, 2013

Shimek.



Bohumil Shimek, in case you haven’t heard of him, was a botanist from Iowa who collected specimens of “vascular plants, bryophytes, lichens, fungi and slime molds” from all over Iowa and meticulously cataloged them for us future generations. He loved the ecolocy of the prairie, and observed and reported the transitions of the Iowa prairie over a 50-year period. Additionally, he has two land snails named in his honor, Discus shimekii and Helicodiscus shimeki.

My elementary school, in Iowa City, was named for Dr. Shimek. It had a prairie at the edge of the playground. The playground also included what I remember as huge expanses of grass, though as an adult they might appear slightly less expansive (have you ever seen a toilet in an elementary school? They are tiny!). In one corner of the grass there was an asphalt kickball field, next to which was a bed of gravel, which I suspect was meant to cushion our falls as we hung upside-down from the parallel bars. The entire playground was surrounded by woods. We were told never to go in the woods at recess, and I don’t remember anyone ever trying to.

Yesterday I registered by son for Kindergarten at P.S. 8, Brooklyn, NYC. The playground does not have any prairie, woods, grass, gravel, parallel bars, or expanses. That doesn’t mean it isn’t an adequate playground.  My son just needs to be somewhere he can run really fast. It will be perfect for him. But I had a startling moment where I realized my children’s lives will not be the same as mine. Of course they won’t. My son will go look at art instead of look for animal tracks. He will ride the subway to field trips. He will learn about how they built the Brooklyn Bridge, the Empire State, and the Verrazano Narrows, a suspension bridge whose towers are farther apart at the top than at the bottom because of the curvature of the earth.

In my elementary school the fire department would burn the prairie every year, to encourage new growth. I think my son will learn this lesson, even though he might not see a prairie burn. And as for Bohumil, he watched his prairie shift and change, and over time was probably surprised once or twice at what he observed in the transition. Sort of like waking up one day and realizing you have drifted away from those prairies and snails, to Brooklyn, where your kids will run and play.

Monday, February 18, 2013

iRemote.


Tonight we discovered that the iPhone has an app that can change the TV channel, like a remote. We require this service, because our 1-year-old put the remote in some remote place (ha!) and she is sleeping so we can’t ask her about it. Also she can’t talk. I am tremendously thankful that my telephone offers this service. However, this got me thinking about how many other amazing problems it could solve, so here is a preliminary list of helpful things the iPhone needs to do in the future:

-Detect and kill head lice
-Identify the purpose of life
-Keep track of how many Girl Scout Cookies I have eaten
-Hand wash all the plastics that might contain BPA so I can’t put them in the dishwasher
-Test dish detergent for environmental toxins
-Improve bad breath
-Warn me of asteroids (does it already do this? Please someone tell me.)
-Similarly, warn me if a plane is about to crash anywhere near me
-Warn me if the plane I am on is about to crash (ideally I would not have to pay $7 for plane WiFi for this service)
-Wax eyebrows
-Test cakes for doneness
-Make crepes
-Predict when the spot I'm standing on will be underwater due to sea level rise
-Fold fitted sheets
-Something about my upper arms
-And, finally, find the remote