The only part of Harper’s Magazine I ever seem to get around to reading is the index. It is informative, funny, and short. I thought about what I would be like, if I were an index:
Number of pastel Rolos I ate while walking from the drug store to the toy store: 9
Number of times I grazed something with the stroller wheel while trying to unwrap a Rolo: 2
Number of mini bunnies advertised to be in a bag of Russell Stover mini bunnies: 60
Actual number: 69
Average age of research assistants in bunny counting project: 2.5
Margin of error: large
Number of dozens of eggs dyed by our family: 2
Average time spent decorating each egg when doing this with a 4-year-old boy: 11 seconds
Number of hard-boiled eggs we consumed on Easter Eve: 7
Karl’s pre-Easter cholesterol level: 211
Number of eggs hidden in our apartment by the Easter Bunny: 10
Number of eggs found in our apartment by our son: we are pretty sure 10, but it was hard to keep track
Number of hours after waking that the 4-year-old ate nothing but candy: 4
Approximate number of peep-themed hats we saw at the Easter Parade: 6
Approximate number of peep-show-themed costumes we saw: 1
Price of a pretzel in Midtown: $3
Price of a pretzel in Brooklyn Heights: $2
Price of a pretzel in Downtown Brooklyn: $1
Number of days until Halloween: 213
